CoMcPhee: K, headcrabbers - here's our new look! I still have to add Cubbage and the Lamarrcade etc, and those crappy blue navigation buttons are only a stopgap! Should all be totally back in place by the weekend...
Dr. Kleiner: Barney!? Timothy!? Blast! Where have they got to? You see anything Lamarr?
Cactus: Oi! Twojugs! If you take that feckin ' shotgun off me I'll tell ya where barney is! Woih, thanks! he's feckin' hiding at freeman's!
Lamarr: sqwerk?
Gordon Freeman: ............................
Barney Calhoun: (whispers) dont tell Mellanie im going to hide at freemans place for a while till she leaves
Cactus: *runs and hides*
Cactus: Boobs! Bras! Big soft breasts! GIRL! YADDA YADDA YUM YU- OH, WAIT! IS THAT A FECKIN' SHOTGUN? OH SHIT!
Mr's Land: BARNEY! You Hiding Coward F**ker! I'm Coming For Ya! With Mah New Rifle!
CoMcPhee: Fingers crossed headcrabbers, there will be a new episode today but I might also be able to get the new website going as well...
Pilotguy97: @victor Don't bother, that cp's going to the hospital because too many people threw cans at him, and not just soda cans...
Victor: Why would I pick up that can? What's stopping me from swapping it out for a grenade and throwing it at you?
Uriah: This one wishes to inquisite why the comments of this comic are dull
Civil Protection: Hey, pick up that can.
Mr's Land: ima comin fir you you no good fecking bastard
Barney Calhoun: oops aw crap adghadjhadhashaghdhajdh sheeeeeeeeees gaaaaaaaaanaaaa kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllll meeeeeeeeeee
Barney Calhoun: eep dont tell Melanie im in city 17 in klieners labratory
The Random Metrocop: Cactus Cactus Cactus... We All Knew You Was Alive...
Cactus: Haha, Thought I'd feckin' died, didn't ya, feckers!? WELL, I'M STILL ALIVE AND WELL, SO YA CAN GO FECK YOURSELVES!
CoMcphee: In case y'all wonderin', next update will be tomorrow, and probably be the only update this here week... Ah have oodles of other stuff I have to get done, baby!
Mr's Land: I Be Knowing Mah Term, Have Ya Seen That Drunken Draggywacky Barney Calhoun Or Not?
Townie: Begging your pardon ma'am btu isn't the term "City Slickers"?
Mr's Land: Excuse Me Ya City Slackers? Have Ya Seen Barney Calhoun Around Here? I Got A Shotgun With His Name On It!
The Random Metrocop: Today I Adopted A Cactus From, Www.Adoptacactus.com It's Fake, I Adopted A Cactus By Using The Spawn Menu, By The Way, I Will Come For Ya With Mah Crowbar If Episode 144 Isn't Up Today...
lLuke: Silly Vort, dirty jokes are for humans!
CoMcPhee: We've barely skimmed the surface of the depths we can plunge into in the name of "humour"... next week: a joke about ladies sanitary devices. Maybe.
Antlion: I thought we were at the bottom of the hill with that "Face in the toilet" punchline, but it appears I was wrong! Bravo!
Klayking: Why is it now that everyone, including myself, has taken the effort to figure out where the hidden images go?
lLuke: http://lifewithlamarr.com/gfx/hidden_6.jpg
CoMcPhee: Is true - http://lifewithlamarr.com/gfx/hidden_11.jpg will find her. You can also get further Longfigger navigation-bar-character thrills if you view the site between midnight and 5 past. Mmm. (Or cheat and just set your PC clock to midnight)
@Mandalorian: You can still find the naughty Longfigger pic! Simple get the current picture url and then increase the number in it until you find Longfigger again.
Mail: Poor, poor, poor vortigaunt.... Tries to understand humor and ends up being put out because of a joke about cucumbers and reproductive organs.
Mandalorian: I miss the pic of naughty looking Longfigger :(
CoMcPhee: Cubbage comments are undergoing work atm - he'll be back soon. And he will have something to actually say about these last comix, as well as all the others he didn't have a comment for before!
The Random Metrocop: Wait? WHAT?????????? The Cubbage Text In Episode 142, Is The SAME In Episode 143?
Zera: Lol vorts are so amusing, Salutations from here in Uruguay!
Mail: I wonder, if we fed "Skwerk" through a translator, what would the outcome be? I bet something like "Cake" or "GTFO" would be the result.
Pilotguy97: Is that so, well, maybe I should pay a visit next time.
Lamarr: Skwerk
CoMcPhee: Additional phun phact: my mum and in fact most of my family now live in NZ too. So there's your connection!
CoMcPhee: Whyfor? Well, Bazza & Gazza first appeared in guest comic "Requiem for a Headcrab" (episode 92) and they made me laff, so I wanted to include them too. And that comic was by Andrew Kepple who is like, a REAL kiwi! Squee! So I imagined, y'know - as a kiwi himself, he wouldn't write in Aussie. No wai? No wai!
Lamarr: sqwee
Pilotguy97: After posting that comment I thought, CoMcPhee, what made you choose New Zealand over someplace like , I dunno, Australia?
Pilotguy97: Well, looks like i've got someone to carpool with. isn't that right "real kiwi".
CoMcPhee: Well, that's just her. But although it might be technically not so rude, it's almost as satisfying to say feck as it is to say fuck! And that's something we can all enjoy. As for any Kiwis that found the characters of Bazza and Gazza insensitive - if a real Kiwi is prepared to transcript my awful stereotypes into REAL Kiwi-speak, I'll make a "KIWI APPROVED" link for this comic that will display a proper Kiwi-Speak version. How's that? X) The usual address if you please. Strewth!
Antlion: I once overheard an Englishperson discussing with a foreigner that in the part of England from whence she hailed, "feck" is just as offensive as saying "fuck" - they don't make a distinction between the two words.
A Real Kiwi: (P.S. we don't actually say blimey or drop H's - that's Englishfolk)
A Real Kiwi: As linguistically inaccurate and culturally insensitive as that comic was.... OOOOOMG SOMEBODY NOTICED US!!!! WE'RE NOT JUST A SHITTY ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE ANYMORE! WOO HOO! BLIMEY 'ELL! BLIMEY 'ELL! BLIMEY 'ELL! BLIMEY 'ELL! WE SAY BLIMEY 'ELL! YES! THAT'S US!!!!! BLIMEY 'ELL!
CoMcPhee: It's like a subscription service that sends you a note when LWL or anything else you add to it updates. Is cool, if you like that kind of thing.
Mail: Ah- Well- Good strategy. Im hoping the cubbage comic comes out- Those are funny. Ive never really bothered to find out what RSS is, much less use it...
CoMcPhee: Well, it's not set in stone. Has to fit around real life a bit... but there will almost certainly be a Sunday Cubbage comic tomorrow, and new story episodes Tuesday and Friday. Depends how the week goes. You can use the RSS subscribe whatsit, and that'll let you know if anything new is online.
Mail: When does this update again?
CoMcPhee: It has to be a good impression - I consulted the New Zealand Tourist Board's officially recognised slang site and everything X)
Pilotguy97: @Mail Not the first time i've heard that. "Yew an' auwssie mate?"
Mail: I did, however, get the word castration, and that always almost brings tears to my eyes.
Mail: So many expressions that I do NOT get....
Pilotguy97: I want to say that's a good impression of NZ, buuuuuuuuuut...
Barney: Freeman, why cant I be as cool as you!
CoMcPhee: Ah... the auld country!
Cactus: We come from good ol' feckin' Ireland! I really do feckin' come from Ireland, in case ya feckin' doubted it!
Lamarr: squee???
Victor: May not be able to win, but at least the people at the drive-thru can understand me and don't fuck up my order.
Mail: Questions answered. Frieakin' in america, but frackin' is definately only used with Battlestar Galactica nerds.
CoMcPhee: That's about right, mate! Cor!
WireDelta: So it's kinda like America's freakin'? Or more recently Frackin'?
CoMcPhee: "Fecking" is used primarily by the Irish. What's interesting about the word "Feck" is that technically, it isn't swearing and may safely be said on TV or anywhere else. Even the Irish consider it to be a mild-ish curse, whereas if they really mean it they'll use "fuck" instead, which they treat as a totally different word. Cacti come from Venus. And headcrabs can mount them but with a certain amount of discomfort.
Mail: Is feckin' pronounced how it sounds? What sort of accent is that? What planet do cacti come from? Are headcrabs able to mount cacti? These are important questions.
Cactus: Feckin' queer! if you're a guy, that feckin' is!
feckin': Oi! I SUCK COCK!
Louis: PILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dther: Still awesome.
Pilotguy97: Is it opposite day already?
Feckin': I'm not gonna cactus die, cactus! You can't cactus win!
Pilotguy97: @victor your dark magic isn't strong enough to over power the mighty Cactus!
Cactus: I'm not gonna feckin' die, fecker! You can't feckin' win!
Victor: Wait, I just remembered something. I used to have a potted cactus as a kid. I touched it one day and it died within the week. *touches cactus*
stupisspamer: kjsfhsgakjfhgaejaghgffgajfhkajhadjjhkhdafhkfdjhfdladfhhfadjhfjfhjhjlafkhjadfhalkhjadlhadjslfkjhdahjafihjasmenvcukhasdjgnaskjgh
Cactus: @Zera - Yea, without the feckin' part where they latch onto your feckin' noggin, cut into your wachooskie and feckin' take you over!
CoMcPhee: Barney plans to get the booze working again, and then he plans to drink all night. Drink drink drink. Beer, whisky, gin. you name it, until he wakes up next morning in the street with the image of a gutter drain pressed into his face. And a passerby will say "Good St. Pat's night Barney?" and he'll say "It was what's night? When was that?"
Antlion: It's Saint Pat's Day soon! What will Barney and Anon do about that?
Zera: Oh wow that Madeleine ftw! Almost as cool as Lamarr... You know, someone could genetically engineer headcrabs as pets... Million dollar idea I tell you
Cactus: Ahaha-OH, the stalkers a feckin' broad?! Oh shuhnap!
CoMcPhee: Don't worry, it's OK - Stalkers don't have souls! Or much of anything else left, come to that. Ew.
Victor: Well, there may be a difference between shoot and kill, she just put two rounds right into the femoral arteries. I'd say there's about 15 minutes before she bleeds to death.
CoMcPhee: Sorry about your internet, chap. I have tried to optimise the comics as far as possible - I can't get them down any more without we start to get noticeable image quality loss. By it's nature an episode of LWL is a big, busy picture and slow connections are going to work at it I'm afraid.
Mail: This comic is interesting, but that just makes it even worse to read on slow internet, ruining bits of the story by making you wait forever for the next one to load.
Piltoguy97: @Co Cactus seems to be in denial...don't fall for it
CoMcPhee: That's all feckin right then!
cactus: What do ya think I am, the feckin' tourettes guy? Of course not!
CoMcPhee: Thank you Mr. Cactus - fix'd. I have to ask... has the cactus taken over your soul now to the point that you're talking like that to your friends and family? And does that make me a bad influence? Because if so... my work here is done.
Cactus: Feckin' #115 is feckin' missing!
CoMcPhee: More speculation than spoilarz! I'm saying nothing... this is one of your 'who shot JR' situations, tho in this case it's more 'what was the result of Kleiner getting Mossman in the club'.
GeodesicDragon: Cactus, you obviously DO care, otherwise you wouldn't have said anything to begin with. Also, NO SPOILARZ PLX!
Cactus: Ahaha! ya feckin' dumbass! No feckin' way is that true! She feckin' hates longfigger!
oomgspoilar: LAWNGFIGAR IZ MOSMANN & KLEINAR;Z LUVBABBY!1
The Random Metrocop: Bloody Mossman! I Knew She Was A Traitor! That Poor Cactus!
Cactus: Hahah! I don't feckin care! Go feck off! haha!
GeodesicDragon: Silly cactus, my name isn't an RP name.
Cactus: Ah!! Right in me pot! I'd like to give that feckin' bitch a different kind of feckin' shot! heh heh!
Cactus: From the fecker with "GeodesicDragon" as is feckin' name? hah!
CoMcPhee: Ohai. I've now got a working system which should mean all comics are back online - if you find one missing, shout in the shoutbox, kthanx!
CoMcPhee: True! Check it again next comic update - which will be within the hour.
WireDelta: Hey when will you change the little image in the red dot? It's kinda been the same for a while...
CoMcPhee: I'm a level 14 Cactus. With legs and advanced cussin' skillz!
GeodesicDragon: This isn't the RP Box, is it? *rolleyes*
Cactus: I'll just feckin' run away! haha! ya can't keep up, lardass! Oi, explosives!! Oi, you! fishman! move over, there's room for two in this here suit! Haha, blow me up now, ya feckin tubby fatcakes!
Gordon Freeman: .........
Victor: Hmmm. Okay, this is the first rule of Advanced Combat Tactics and Training. All worldly problems can be solved with the proper application of high explosives. I have with me this: a one pound brick of remote detonated PETN encased in an anti-defuse tube. Now as a backup, attach this wire here and here and trail it over here and.... done. Now if the detonator is lost or damaged, I have a backup detonation system.
Cactus: AHAHAH! YA CAN'T SHOOT A FECKIN' POTTED PLANT, LARDASS. I'M SECRETLY A CACTAR! Counterfire - SPIKE EJECTON!
Victor: To quote my favorite video game character, "I'VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL!" Anyways, how does a potted plant dodge roll and jump? Oh well, seeing as boots aren't going to the trick, I guess it's time for option 2. Automatic gunfire. *BAM BAM BAM BAM*
Cactus: Ahhahah! Keep screaming, lardbucket! Ya feckin' fatass!
Cactus: *Dodge roll* *Spike* Ahahah!! scream, ya feckin' fatass!
Victor: Cool, the shoutbox got archived again. Where's the link again? And again with the mentally ill cactus. *STOMP*
Cactus: Try it, ya feckin' fatass! I'll spike yer feckin' flabby balls!
Zera: Oh that Toilet looks bloody unclean... Where's polandball when you need it?
Michon00: Heh, Cubbage is a bally old looser (when the Vort is near of course)
Gman: Hmmmmm...
Bugz: AHAHA the newest one made me lol so hard, i have no freakin' idea why though
CoMcPhee: We gladly accept your commenting virginity - and any other virginity you have going, come to that.
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